By: Joelle Dell'Erede, Community Relations
I know you well. You creep up on me when I am feeling unsure about something. Your voice is loud, and you ruled me for many years. You held me back from chasing after my dreams and you left me in a hole where fear of failure, insecurity and anxiety floated above me. You felt like something I couldn’t control, so I turned to the things I could.
When your voice became too powerful, I knew something had to change. Focusing all of my energy on you was taking my life away. I slowly started to write down how you made me feel and began talking about you. Bringing your words to life enabled me to realize how insignificant they were. Instead of paying attention to them and believing them, I started to surprise myself by doing the things you said I couldn’t. This was powerful. This was life-changing. I began to put more emphasis on the things I could and wanted to do, rather than the things I thought I could not, and I began to give more power to my body. This came unnaturally to me, as I had spent so long disregarding any inner gut feeling. When I started journaling what my gut was telling me, I began to realize that I had no choice but to follow it. It began to guide me in a direction that I had never gone before; one founded on self-love and confidence. Developing a positive relationship with my body, by listening to my gut, allowed me to out power you.
Sometimes when I reach an unknown area, your words creep up on me again. “You cannot do this”, “Someone else is better than you”, “You are not good enough”. I now challenge you. I hear your words, but rather than a loud dictating voice, they have become a whisper. A whisper that drives me forward and challenges me to see where I can go. I am doing this. I am not comparable to anyone else, as we are all different and have unique skills and paths. I am good enough for me. Challenging your voice and words have made me stronger, confident and brave.
Dear doubt, your purpose in my life has changed.